Ash and Taruto
by kisshuismylife
Summary: Emiko and Ichigo are bored, and decide to make Ash and Taruto have an eating contest. It's going to be funny!
1. The Idea

**Ash and Taruto Chapter 1:**

**The Idea**

One day in Kisshu's dimension, Ichigo and Emiko were sitting around, bored. Everyone else seemed to have something to do, even lazy Mint.

Suddenly Ichigo said, "Remember the last time we went to the other dimension?"

"Yeah…" Emiko said.

"Well, what if we went along with my idea of having an eating contest between Ash and Taruto?" Ichigo asked. "It might just be the perfect cure for our boredom."

"Maybe you're right," Emiko said. "I'll see what Ash is doing right now." She closed her eyes and focused, then said, "Looks like he and the others are busy. They're in a building, and Ash looks pretty serious."

"Well, we could wait outside the building," Ichigo suggested. "Besides, we have to catch Taruto first."

"Good point," Emiko said. "Let's go find Taruto, and I'll teleport us outside the building."

Ichigo smirked and said, "Let's go."

The girls started looking around, but didn't find Taruto at first. "Hey, should we tell Kisshu about this?" Ichigo asked.

"Why not?" Emiko asked. "Let's find him, and maybe he'll help us."

Ichigo nodded, so they went to the kitchen, where they found Kisshu. "Hey Kisshu, Ichigo and I came up with a plan to cure our boredom," Emiko said.

"What is it? I'm kind of bored too," Kisshu said.

"We thought that Taruto and Emiko's friend Ash should have an eating contest, since they have a similar way of eating," Ichigo said.

Kisshu smirked and said, "That sounds fun. Let's go get Taruto, and then we can go."

The three of them started laughing maniacally, and went to find Taruto.

They found him in his room, and Emiko said, "Taruto, we've got an idea. Come with us for a while."

"Why?" Taruto asked suspiciously.

"Oh, you'll see," Ichigo said innocently.

"No, you're going to do something awful to me," Taruto said.

"Emiko, ready?" Kisshu asked.

Emiko snapped her fingers and said, "I'm all set. Ichigo, did you get the stuff?"

"Sure did," Ichigo said. She held up a shopping bag full of different kinds of cake.

"Then let's go," Emiko said. "Kisshu, I'll implant the image of where we're going into your mind."

Kisshu came over, and Emiko placed a finger on his forehead, then implanted the image of the building into his mind. "All set," Kisshu said.

Emiko nodded and grabbed Taruto's arm. Kisshu grabbed Ichigo's hand, and they teleported to the outside of the building where Ash was.

Their timing was perfect, since Ash and the others were just coming out. They all looked happy, and then they noticed Emiko, Ichigo, Kisshu and Taruto.

"Hey, what's up?" Ash asked.

"We were bored, and Ichigo came up with this interesting idea," Kisshu said.

"Is anyone going to explain why you dragged me here?" Taruto asked grouchily.

"All in good time," Emiko said with an evil smirk.

"So what was your idea?" May asked.

"Remember when we were having breakfast a few weeks ago, and Ichigo said Ash and Taruto should have an eating contest?" Emiko asked.

"Yeah…." Brock said.

"Guess what we came here to do," Ichigo said, also smirking.

"Oh no. No way," Taruto said. "There is no way I'm participating in your evil schemes."

"Scared, Midget?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't exactly mind doing this, but where are we going to get the food?" Ash asked.

Ichigo held up a bag of cake and said, "Don't worry, we got some on our way out of our dimension."

"Hey, is that cake?" Taruto asked.

"Getting interested, eh Midget?" Kisshu asked.

"NO!" Taruto said. "And my name is NOT Midget!"

"Are you sure? It looks like you're drooling," May said.

Taruto glared at her. Then he sighed and said, "Fine… but what's the prize for winning?"

"This thing we stole from Pai," Emiko said, holding up some kind of orb.

"What is that?" Ash asked.

"I think it allows you to observe people," Kisshu said. "Ichigo tried it. All you have to do is say the person's name, and you can see what they're doing at that time."

"That's _cool," _Ash said.

"Fine… I'll participate," Taruto said.

"Great!" Ichigo and Emiko said. "Ash, are you going to do it too?"

"Sure," Ash said. "Who's judging this contest?"

"I think it should be Brock and Emiko," Ichigo said. "They seem like the most sensible people around here."

"Hey, are you saying I'm not sensible?" Kisshu asked.

"Actually, yes," Ichigo said. "You can be, but…" she whispered something in Kisshu's ear.

"Fine…" Kisshu said. "Emiko and Brock can be the judges."

The others looked suspicious, but let it go.

"Where are we doing this?" Taruto asked.

"There's a park nearby," Brock said. "Let's go there."

The group headed off to the park.

**I hope people like my first humor story!**


	2. The Contest

**Ash and Taruto Chapter 2:**

**The Contest**

The group went to the park, and found a picnic table. Ash and Taruto sat down, and Emiko said, "Ichigo, do you want to explain the rules?"

"Okay," Ichigo said. She turned to Ash and Taruto and said, "The rules are simple. You each get a certain amount of cake, and whoever finishes first wins. Oh, and you can't interfere with each other. That means you can't sabotage the other person. Got it?"

Ash and Taruto nodded.

"Okay, Ichigo, divide up the cake," Emiko said. Ichigo nodded and pulled the cakes out of the bag. She placed two medium-sized cakes in front of Ash, and two medium-sized cakes in front of Taruto. Then she handed them both forks, and turned to Emiko and Brock.

"Are both contestants ready?" Emiko asked.

"Yep!" Ash and Taruto said together.

"Then you may begin!" Brock said.

Both boys dug into their cakes, and started eating really fast. Surprisingly, Ash finished his first cake a little before Taruto. Taruto took up the challenge and decided to finish the rest of his first cake in one bite.

The non-contestants watched with interest as Taruto shoved a whole piece of cake into his mouth, and barely chewed it before swallowing. To everyone's utter shock, he didn't choke. Instead, he started on his next cake.

Ash was still in the lead, and Taruto looked frustrated. Emiko had a feeling he was going to break the rules, so she looked in his mind, then said, "Taruto, remember that you can't sabotage Ash."

Taruto glared at her, but kept eating. He was a third of the way done with his second cake, and Ash was halfway done.

Ten minutes later, Ash was done, and Taruto had two bites left. Brock and Emiko looked at each other, and said together, "Ash is the winner!"

"YES!" Ash shouted, while Taruto moaned.

"Congratulations," Emiko said to Ash, ignoring Taruto's grumbling. She held out the orb she had stolen from Pai, and said, "Here's your prize, have fun with it!"

"Thanks!" Ash said.

Meanwhile, Kisshu was laughing maniacally at Taruto's grumbling, Ichigo was smirking, and Brock was trying to calm them all down. May and Max were watching this with amusement, and Pikachu was looking at the orb thing curiously.

"Hey, is Taruto okay?" Ash asked.

"He'll be fine, he just hates losing anything," Emiko said. "I don't think he was as interested in the prize as he was in winning. Besides, if he had won the prize, and Pai had found the orb in his room, he'd probably get fried."

"Fried?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, Pai's weapons have the ability to shoot lightning at people," Emiko said. "Taruto gets blasted a lot."

"I hope Pai doesn't come after me," Ash said.

"I don't think he'll find out where the orb went," Emiko said. "He may not have even noticed it's gone. Don't worry, we won't tell him if he asks."

"Thanks," Ash said. "Hey, I wonder what Professor Oak is doing right now?"

"Well, why don't you find out?" Emiko asked. "Just say his name, and the orb should show you what he's doing."

"Okay," Ash said, then said to the orb, "Show me Professor Oak."

The orb glowed a bit, then went clear. Ash looked closely, then started laughing.

"What's he doing?" Emiko asked.

"He's watching soap operas," Ash said, still laughing. "I can't wait to see his reaction when I tell him about this."

"I'd like to see his reaction too," Emiko said. "Hey, why don't we call him?"

"I think the Pokémon Center has some phones," Ash said. "Let's go."

"Okay," Emiko said. They walked to the Pokémon Center, and once inside, Ash asked Nurse Joy, "Can we use the phone?"

"Sure, it's over there," Nurse Joy said, pointing to a corner.

Ash and Emiko went over, and Ash typed in a number. After a little while, Professor Oak's face came up, and he said, "Oh, Ash! What's up? I'm a bit busy."

"Watching soap operas?" Ash asked, smirking.

Professor Oak turned red and stammered, "H-h-how did you know that?"

Ash held up the orb Emiko gave him, and said, "Emiko gave me an orb that can show me what you or anyone else is doing at any given time."

Professor Oak's face got even redder, and he turned to Emiko, who was next to Ash, laughing.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.

"I stole it from Pai," Emiko said, still giggling. "We both wanted to see your reaction to Ash telling you that he knew you were watching soap operas rather than doing research. It was really funny!"

"You're going to ruin my reputation!" Professor Oak moaned.

"We weren't going to tell anyone," Ash said. "At least… not anyone important."

"Who are you going to tell?" Professor Oak asked nervously.

"May, Max, and Brock," Ash replied.

"I guess that's okay, but don't tell Professor Elm, got it?" Professor Oak said. "He's enough of a problem already."

"Fine," Ash said. "Emiko wouldn't like him anyways, and besides, we're nowhere near the Johto Region."

"Good," said Professor Oak, relieved. "I should probably go now, though."

"More soap operas?" Emiko asked, snickering.

Professor Oak turned red again and said, "Actually, I have to feed all the Pokemon, it's lunchtime over here."

"Okay, bye," Ash said.

Professor Oak nodded and hung up. Emiko and Ash burst out laughing again.

Finally Nurse Joy came over and said, "What on Earth is so funny? I thought you were talking to Professor Oak."

"We were," Emiko said.

"So what happened? Did he tell you some joke or something?" Nurse Joy asked.

Ash asked, "Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course," Nurse Joy said.

Ash whispered, "Professor Oak watches soap operas, and he was pretty shocked when I found out that he did."

Nurse Joy burst out laughing too, and soon they were all laughing, hard. Finally Nurse Joy started to calm down and said, "I'll keep it a secret. I haven't laughed so hard in ages, though, so thanks."

"You're welcome," Emiko said, still giggling. "We should go back to our friends now, though."

"Okay," Nurse Joy said. "Bye!"

Emiko and Ash waved, then left, and went back to the park.

They found May, Max, Pikachu, Brock and Ichigo watching Taruto and Kisshu from a safe distance. The two were rolling around on the ground, beating each other up.

"What happened?" Emiko asked.

"Taruto found more cake, and told Kisshu to eat it, so Kisshu ate some, and Taruto whacked him over the head for no apparent reason," Brock said. "We couldn't calm either of them down, so we're just waiting for them to get tired out. Where were you two?"

"We went to the Pokemon Center after that orb I gave Ash showed Professor Oak watching soap operas," Emiko said. "We wanted to see his reaction when we told him we knew his little secret."

"What did he do?" May asked.

"He turned bright red and begged us not to tell anyone," Ash said, snickering.

May giggled, and then Brock snorted. Soon they were all laughing again.

**Well, I hope you all like this, I had to stop typing a few time since I was laughing so hard. Review!**


	3. Fun

**Ash and Taruto Chapter 3:**

**Fun**

Emiko, and actually everyone but Kisshu and Taruto were laughing over Professor Oak's little secret- still. It was quite a while before Ichigo finally calmed down enough to say, "Kisshu and Taruto are still fighting."

"Wow, really?" Brock asked. "Don't they get tired?"

"Apparently not," Emiko said. "I'll go stop them." She walked over to Kisshu and Taruto, who were still beating each other up. She watched their movements for a minute, then walked into the fight, and grabbed Kisshu's arm while stopping Taruto's punch at the same time. "Okay, that's enough fighting, you two," she said firmly. "Taruto, I don't know why you decided to whack Kisshu over the head, but I want you to apologize."

"What if I don't WANT to?" Taruto asked.

"Then I guess you'll be foregoing dessert for the next week," Emiko said.

Taruto looked horrified, and immediately said, "I'm sorry I whacked you while you were eating, Kisshu."

"Just don't do that again, runt," Kisshu said.

Taruto screamed, "I'M NOT A RUNT!"

"Kisshu, now you have to apologize," Emiko said. "Name-calling isn't okay either, you know."

"Whyyyyy?" Kisshu moaned.

"Because it's rude and it hurts people's feelings. Now, apologize to Taruto," Emiko said. "And Taruto, I want you to accept his apology without calling him a broccoli head like LAST time."

"Fine…" Taruto said. Emiko looked at Kisshu, who said reluctantly, "I'm sorry I called you a runt, Taruto."

"Apology accepted," Taruto said in a prim voice. Kisshu glowered at him, but didn't comment.

"Very good," Emiko said.

Both boys glared at her. "What?" Emiko asked.

"You act like you're our mother," Taruto grumbled.

"Well, someone has to," Emiko said. "It's certainly not going to be Ichigo, she's too busy snickering at Taruto."

"SHE'S WHAT!?" Taruto shouted. He tried to fly off, but Emiko grabbed his ear and dragged him back.

"You both seem to need someone who's at least able to stay calm in most situations," Emiko said. "If I have to act like your mother to get the two of you to behave, so be it."

"Hey, Pai's like that," Taruto said, smirking. "Maybe you and he should get together."

Emiko refused to be provoked and said calmly, "Pai already has Lettuce, and you know that very well. Besides, wouldn't me and Pai being together mean that we actually had feelings for one another?"

"Good point…" Taruto sighed. "I was just thinking that if you want to be our mother, the only one who's also capable of being calm in any situation is Pai. You could be our parents."

"I'm not exactly looking to be your mother," Emiko said. "I just seem to be the only one who everyone listens to, so I guess I've taken on that role."

"Well, at least you do a good job," Kisshu said.

"Thanks, I think," Emiko said. She headed back to the others, followed by Kisshu and Taruto.

"That was cool," Ash said when they reached him and the others.

"What was?" Emiko asked.

"You walked right into their fight, and just stopped them, like it was nothing," Ash said.

"It was nothing, compared to Mint and Ichigo," Emiko said. "Last time _they_ fought, they both transformed and nearly destroyed the coffee table. I had to freeze both of them, _and _take their weapons away. Then I dragged them out the door, and left them frozen for the next two hours, on different sides of the house."

"They had _weapons?" _Brock asked.

"The Mews all have weapons when they transform," Emiko said. "Luckily, I usually get there before Mint and Ichigo take them out."

"'Take them out'?" Brock asked.

"Like us Cyniclons, the Mews summon their weapons out of thin air," Emiko explained. "Except they have to say the name of their weapon to get it out, and we don't. Look." She threw her arm out, and a large sword with an orange and black hilt and the kanji for fire on the blade appeared in her hand. "We all have a different hand motion, but we don't call out the name of our weapons," Emiko explained.

"That's cool," Brock said. "So I take it that you know how to use a sword."

"Kisshu taught me," Emiko said. "It was harder, though, since his weapon is two blades rather than one."

"Emiko's really good with that sword," Kisshu said.

"Thanks, but I had a great teacher," Emiko said. Kisshu grinned.

Max suddenly said, "I know this is off topic, but when Emiko was stopping that fight just now, she said something about Taruto calling Kisshu a broccoli head. Why would he do that?"

"Taruto's just jealous that my hair is green and his isn't," Kisshu said.

"Am not, who'd want green hair?" Taruto asked scathingly.

"It's better than brown," Kisshu said. "Your hair is boring."

"At least I don't look like a vegetable," Taruto said, smirking.

"Well, _I'm _glad my hair doesn't look like cow manure," Kisshu said.

"Asparagus head!"

"Midget!"

"Broccoli casserole!"

"Dung beetle!"

"Hag-lover!"

"Monkey-kisser!"

"HEY! I NEVER KISSED PUDDING!"

"AND ICHIGO IS NOT AN 'OLD HAG'!"

"IS TOO!"

"So if I said Pudding is a smelly monkey, you wouldn't care?"

"YES I DAMN WELL WOULD CARE! TAKE IT BACK!"

"NEVER!"

"JERK!"

"HA! YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF INSULTS!"

"MAGGOT EATER!"

"Where did you get THAT from?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! GO TO HELL!"

"You first."

"GO EAT WORMS!"

"For heaven's sake, think up something more creative!"

**[this has been censored due to violence and bad language]**

"EMIKO! GET THE SOAP!"

"NOOOOO!"

"THEN TAKE IT BACK!"

"I'm sorry I said that, you little-"

"SOAP!"

"-jerk…"

"OH, DECIDED TO GO BACK TO THE UNORIGINAL INSULTS, HUH? WELL, HERE'S ONE: YOU LOOK LIKE ROADKILL!"

"WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY!"

"THEN KISS ME, YOU LIKE KISSING MONKEYS!"

"EWWWW!"

"MONKEY LOVER!"

"SQUASH EATER!"

"I HATE SQUASH!"

"WELL, I HATE YOU!"

"Because I hate squash?"

"NO!"

"Then why?"

"JUST BECAUSE!"

"WELL, I HATE YOU TOO, SO THERE!"

"BRUSSELS SPROUT!"

"What's that?"

"Something green."

"DIRT FACE!"

"LITTLE OBNOXIOUS GREEN FREAK!"

"RUNT!"

"I'M NOT A RUNT!"

"You're smaller than me, so that makes you a runt."

"ICHIGO'S SMALLER THAN YOU TOO, SO SHE'S A RUNT?"

"DAMN YOU!"

"You walked right into that one, idiot."

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"

"YES YOU ARE! YOU CAN'T EVEN COUNT TO TEN!"

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."

"I meant in… um…. Korean! Yeah, count to ten in Korean!"

"Hana, dul, set, net, dah-sul, yuh-seot, il-gop, yuh-deol, ah-hop, yeol."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

"The Internet. I was really bored."

"DAMN YOU! NOW DO IT IN JAPANESE!"

"WHY, SO YOU CAN GET HUMILIATED AGAIN?"

"Um…"

"HA! I BET YOU CAN'T DO IT, SO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU!"

"I CAN DO IT!"

"PROVE IT!"

"Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, shichi, hachi, kyu, ju!"

"You forgot roku."

"DAMN IT!"

_**Meanwhile: **_Emiko and the others were simply watching this childish exchange. They were interested to know that Kisshu could count to ten in Korean, but after a while, Ash said, "Should we stop them?"

"Maybe, but I need to talk to Max first," Emiko said.

"Um… okay?" Ash said.

Emiko went over to Max and said, "Just so you know, it's not a good idea to say the words 'broccoli head' in front of Kisshu, whether you're aiming them at him or not."

"I had a feeling that I was somehow the cause of this," Max said.

"Well, I'm going to go stop them, but just don't say anything more about this, okay?" Emiko said.

"Yeah, sorry," Max said.

Emiko patted his shoulder, then went to stop the fight. She walked up to Kisshu and Taruto, and snapped her fingers. Both their mouths snapped shut, and they turned and gave her death glares.

Unfazed, Emiko said, "Okay, I think that's enough name-calling. And Taruto, no dessert for a week."

"MMMPH!?" Taruto tried to shout. He pointed at Kisshu accusingly.

"Kisshu did not use swear words, so his punishment will be less than yours," Emiko said.

Kisshu looked nervous. "Kisshu, no going through Ichigo's drawers for a week," Emiko said. "You can have dessert, but if I catch you going through her drawers, I'll take away your dessert too, and add another week onto the punishment. Got it?"

Kisshu and Taruto nodded, and Emiko unfroze their mouths. "I think it's time we got going," she said. "I'm sure Ash and his friends need to continue their journey, and I think you two need to go back home and cool off."

"Fine…" Kisshu and Taruto said.

Emiko nodded, and turned to Ash. "Sorry you guys had to listen to all that," she said. "We're going to go now, I have a feeling those two are just going to fight nonstop if we stay."

"They're glaring at each other behind your back, so I'd say you're right," Brock said. "It was nice to see you again."

"You too," Emiko said. She then turned to Ash and Pikachu, and said, "You know what to do if something happens, right?"

"_Yep," _Pikachu said.

"Good, then we'll be on our way," Emiko said. She rubbed Pikachu's head, then turned to Kisshu, who was already holding Ichigo's hand, and Taruto, and said, "Let's go, guys."

They all teleported back, but when Emiko, Kisshu and Ichigo landed in the living room, Taruto wasn't with them.

"Great…." Emiko said. "I'll see where he is." She closed her eyes and saw Taruto in the other dimension. "I'll go get him, he didn't teleport back with us," Emiko said. She teleported back, and saw Taruto with Ash and the others. She walked over, grabbed Taruto by the collar, and said, "You're coming with me, and if you don't behave, I'm putting a no-teleporting spell on you."

Taruto sighed, and Emiko waved, then teleported him back to the living room. They landed, and Taruto said, "Can you put me down now?"

"Are you going to try to escape?" Emiko asked.

"No," Taruto sighed.

Emiko put him down, and he ran off, presumably to find Pudding.

Lettuce came in, and said, "Oh, you're back!"

"Yeah, I think we were wearing out our welcome," Emiko said. "Kisshu and Taruto got into a name-calling fight after beating each other up. I've set punishments for both of them."

"Well, maybe next time they'll think first," Lettuce said. "Hey, want to read with me?"

"Sure," Emiko said. The girls sat down, and for the rest of the afternoon, they read together.

**Well, that's the end. I hope you like this as much as I liked writing it.**


End file.
